This post explores how negative/unprocessed memories can be resolved. You may also want to read the related post on Understanding trauma, triggers, and over-reactions to understand how traumatic/unprocessed memories seem to be created in the first place.
Can negative, painful, and traumatic memories actually be healed? The resounding answer is Yes! I have seen it many many times in my office and heard countless cases of colleagues and trainers who have resolved unprocessed ‘traumatic’ memories. The neurological process by which painful memories are updated is now fairly well understood by modern neuroscience and it is called memory reconsolidation. It occurs quite often in daily life, and frequently in therapeutic modalities which help to provide the brain with the right sequence and combination of mismatching experiences for the brain to unlock and update the old memory files.
Put simply, memory reconsolidation is a process all of our brains naturally do when the right ingredients are in place and put in the right order. The absence of some key ingredients or steps is why many painful memories remain unresolved for a long time, but once these are correctly in place, it appears that every memory no matter how traumatic can be processed so that it no longer contains the distressing elements.
In the video below, a well known psychotherapist trainer and educator, Courtney Armstrong, lays out the basic steps by which memories are updated in therapy using the acronym RECON. I have written them out and I highly encourage you to watch the 7 minute video below for further clarification.
R: Briefly RECALL the relevant target memory.
E: EXPLORE EMBODIED beliefs. What conclusions did your brain come to about what this experience meant about you, other people, and the world.
and EXPLORE the desired belief. What would you rather believe instead?
C: CREATE a new meaning experience that mismatches the old experience and causes you to feel how you want to feel in the memory. Use imagery, music, and movement as desired. Outline the future self you would like to be.
O: OBJECTIVELY describe the memory while integrating the new meaning experience. Tell the story again but while feeling what you want to feel (strong, capable, etc.) It often helps to describe what things you would want to change do differently if you could get a redo of the experience, or how would you deal with it if you could enter the scene as a powerful, compassionate, protective adult.
N: NARRATIVE INTEGRATION. Repeat the story several times until the new meaning clicks into place. Memory reconsolidation researchers tend to find that several repetitions of the mismatch experience tend to be required to update a memory. If all of these ingredients are adequately in place, however, the memory will start to feel very different, where it no longer brings up the same old negative emotions and beliefs when you think about it even though you can still remember what happened.
Explanation and Example of Memory Reconsolidation Video
One of the more well known therapists in the field of memory reconsolidation research is Bruce Ecker. Here is a brief interview with him. If you are interested in the topic I would recommend looking up more videos of his teaching on memory reconsolidation.
Additional Videos about Memory Reconsolidation:
Full version of the above interview with Courtney Armstrong
Fuller explanation of memory reconsolidation by Bruce Ecker:
Note:
Memory reconsolidation does not cause a person to forget what actually happened but it does cause you to feel and think and feel differently when you recall the event. It also seems to help a person not to feel triggered by experiences similar to the memory/memories that have been reconsolidated.