Internal Family Systems therapy provides a way to get right to the roots of symptoms and start resolving them. However, the goal is not simply fixing problems but accessing an empowered inner state that is consistently relaxed, capable, compassionate, and unafraid. From this empowered state we can not only become the agents of our own healing but we can connect to others in a way that is relaxed, engaged, and truly ourselves.
Key Concepts
- Complex Mind: View of the mind as a complex system of integrated “parts”Co
- Core Self: Concept that at the core of each one of us always resides a “true self” that remains undamaged, capable, and compassionate.
- Extreme Roles vs Natural Roles: IFS suggests that parts have natural roles at birth, but can get stuck in extreme roles based on painful experiences in our lives.
- Exiles: Some parts carry the pain of negative experiences such as shame or loneliness. These parts tend to suppressed, managed, and “exiled” by the protective parts of our system.
- Managers: Manager parts try to prevent exiles from getting hurt again by proactively trying to control or manage ourselves and our surroundings. Their solutions tend to be rigid ranging from people pleasing to penny pinching to controlling behaviors to anorexia.
- Firefighters: Firefighter parts take over when exiles get triggered in order to suppress the pain as quickly as possible. Their solutions tend to be short sighted ranging from sugar cravings to substance abuse to cutting or binge watching TV.
Process
IFS provides a unique way to get to know these parts, unblend from them, access the power and perspective of the core self, and ultimately unburden all the parts. As exiled parts are unburdened from the pain and extreme beliefs about self they carry then protective parts are able to unburden from the extreme roles they have been playing to keep these exiles safe and suppressed.
Outcomes
The end result is a more relaxed internal system where parts are free to live into their natural roles. This tends to result in more playfulness, flexibility, freedom, and joy. Once clients get the hang of the process in therapy I find that many of them start spontaneously working with their own systems–getting to know parts stuck in extreme roles, unblending, accessing self, and engaging the work of unburdening. Ultimately the IFS process increases one’s capacity to relate to people in the outside world from a more authentic, relaxed, and connected state.